The Inner Critic vs. Your Inner Wisdom: Who’s Really Driving Your Decisions?
May 05, 2025
“You have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay
Do You Take Time To Listen Inward?
How often do you stop and question the voice in your head? You know the one I mean: the one that questions your choices. The one that whispers, “Who do you think you are?” That voice that second-guesses you even after you’ve made a brave decision. That voice we know well is better known as your inner critic, and each one of us has one.
But if you take the time to listen, you will hear another voice. This one will be quieter yet wiser, and it, too, lives within your head. It is better known as your inner wisdom. It is this voice that you need to nurture and grow. It is the voice of reason, knowledge, and experience.
During coaching conversations, workshops, and even in my reflective journaling, this theme comes up time and time again:
🤔 Who’s actually in the driver’s seat regarding our decisions?
🤔 And more importantly, how do we choose to listen differently?
Why Does This Matter?
In both career and personal growth, decisions shape our direction. But if our choices are constantly driven by fear, shame, or perfectionism, we risk:
👉 Playing small
👉 Avoiding opportunities
👉 Burning out from continually needing to “prove ourselves”
This blog is a reminder that you don’t have to and can choose not to live by the voice of your inner critic. You can reconnect with the calm, grounded voice within you—your inner wisdom—and let her lead.
Who Is the Inner Critic?
Many ask me if the inner critic is a supporter or a foe. Your inner critic isn’t your enemy—it’s your brain’s way of protecting you from rejection, shame, or failure. The way it does this is by:
- Often amplifying self-doubt
- Comparing you to the achievements, successes and wins of others
- Making you hold onto old fears and possibly outdated beliefs.
It often has a voice which may sound and project words like. Serious overwhelm.
Its voice may sound like:
😞 “You’re not ready.”
😞 “You’ll get it wrong.”
😞 “Others are better than you.”
The point that is important to remember is that your inner critic speaks from fear and not truth.
Who Is the Inner Wisdom?
Your inner wisdom is the deeper part of you. It is the part that knows your true values. It is the part of you that honours your growth and ensures you make a space for it. It believes in you and your resilience. When it speaks, it does so with calmness, clarity and bucketloads of compassion. I do not know who would not want a friend like that in their court.
When it speaks, it sounds like:
🙌 “You’ve done hard things before.”
🙌 “You don’t have to be perfect to begin.”
🙌 “You are allowed to change and evolve.”
As Carl Jung once said,
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”
How to Tell Whose Driving Your Decisions
Here are five reflective signs to help you determine whether your inner critic or your inner wisdom is guiding your choices. As usual, my gems 💎 of advice and journaling exercises are provided for you to consider.
1️⃣ The Voice You Hear: Is It Harsh or Compassionate?
The inner critic uses language that is fear-based or absolute (“never”, “always”, “should”).
Inner wisdom speaks with kindness and reason—it guides rather than scolds.
💎 “What am I saying ‘should’ to that needs a softer voice?”
2️⃣ The Feeling in Your Body
The inner critic can trigger tightness, anxiety, and tension.
Inner wisdom often brings calmness, a sense of grounding or ease.
💎 Practice a body scan when facing a decision. What are you physically feeling—and what might that tell you about your inner dialogue?
3️⃣ The Outcome of the Decision
Critic-led decisions often lead to regret, resentment, or burnout.
Wisdom-led decisions lead to alignment, confidence, even if the path is uncertain.
💎 The goal isn’t perfection—it’s integrity. Choose the path that aligns with who you are, not who you’re afraid of being.
4️⃣ Motivation: Fear of Failure vs. Love of Growth
Are you avoiding something because you’re scared to fail?
Or are you drawn to something because it excites you, even if it challenges you?
💎 Write down the fear. Then ask: “What would I do if I trusted myself instead?”
5️⃣ Patterns: Whose Voice Is It?
Sometimes, the inner critic is shaped by voices from the past—parents, teachers, and societal expectations.
Inner wisdom is your voice, shaped by lived experience, growth, and intuition.
💎 “Is this my voice, or someone else’s story I’ve carried too long?”
Learning to Lead From Within
When we learn to turn down the volume of the inner critic and amplify the voice of inner wisdom, we create space to:
- Make value-aligned decisions for our future
- Reduce burnout from people-pleasing or perfectionism
- Grow both in confidence and clarity
- Set stronger boundaries than before
- Step into our next chapter—calmly, courageously and confidently.
Your Invitation This Week
At the end of this week, I would like to leave you with a few questions to ask yourself:
“Who’s driving this decision—my fear or inner truth?”
“What would it look like if I trusted myself, even just 1% more today?”
This week, give yourself permission to pause and listen. Your inner wisdom is there. She may be quiet, but she’s strong. You are already wise. The invitation is simply to listen.
If this speaks to you, join me in the Weekly GEM 💎 Club, where I share reflections, journaling prompts, and encouragement every week in a free weekly newsletter.
If you wish to chat and ask for more information, please email me at [email protected]Your Leadership Coach and Wellbeing Practitioner👉 Explore more insights on my BLOG👉 Sign up for my FREE weekly GEM 💎 Newsletter
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